Cap’n, Me Cap’n! Yer Lads Be Jumpin’ Ship!

Assaf Koren a.k.a. “Suffik”, left my company this week to pursue his dream, founding a new startup named WebSpeakup. Apart from being a very good off-work friend of mine and a personal loss, it’s been the third ultra-talented guy leaving us in the past few weeks. “Boogie”, “Suffik” and “Shorty”, have all jumped overboard to their own startup boats, leaving the rest of us dangling on the deck of our old leaking tub.

It’s only a few hours ago that I finally realized why the big boss a.k.a. “Mr. close-talker” is unable to keep the crew together. It’s the language! It seems like no matter how hard you try, you just can’t inspire people talking in Hebrew. English is not bad. Old pirate English is even better. I’m sure Bartholomew Roberts didn’t have this kind of problems…

So boss, instead of just complaining like all the other employees, I’ve created this version of a motivation speech you can use. Just before you start, note that this speech was intended to be read out loud with an exaggerated accent, rolling R’s and a generally rough pirate-like voice damaged by long years of salty air and spicy rum…

Here goes…



~
Ahoy mateys!
Arrr, in th' scuttlebutt 't be whispered some lads among us be havin' swallowed th' anchor t' become lubbers fo’ a piece o’ eight! Garr, as yer cap’n 't shiver me timbers! Fair winds ye bilge rats, ye scurvy dogs! Th’ cat o’ nine tails shall flog ye, ye scuppered swabs! Avast me hearties, do nay follo'! Ye ol’ sea dogs, yer daddles, yer gulleys, yer barkers be raised! Oi, let th’ Jolly Roger be hoisted! Damn yer eyes, aye, t’ Fiddler’s Green we be sailin’!
~

Now try that in Hebrew…

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p.s. If i had a dollar for every time someone gave me his two cents…